Surrendering To His Sovereignty

By Lori Heagney, LCMHC

As many of you may know, my husband died nearly three years ago. Recently FaceBook had a memory pop up from a day in 2015,  around 2 years into my late husband’s illness. Pictured at the top of this memory was a note from his doctor. It read, “Your husband is expected to live until further notice.”

Five years ago, my husband was very ill. He had been diagnosed with a very rare bone marrow disorder and was not responding to the treatments he was being given. He was receiving blood transfusions every week and was in and out of the hospital with many complications from the disease. During that time, I struggled with intense anxiety on a daily basis. It was hard to think of anything other than the suffering he was going through and the impact it was having on our family. There was no end to the “what if” questions that plagued me night and day. 

In his attempt to reassure me, my husband had his doctor write this note for me. It was such a sweet, human attempt to ease my worry and provide reassurance that he would not die…but as I mentioned, eventually the disease took its toll and he passed away two years later. This human effort on both his part and that of his doctor could not have prevented what God had ordained nor could all the medical treatment that was generously provided for him.

Only God is in TOTAL and Sovereign control of all things, including the number of our days. In Psalm 139:16 (New Living Translation) we read: 

“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

In Job 14:5 (NLT) it says:

“You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer.”

I have found that God’s sovereignty brings me great comfort. Some may say that this is unfair. I have met many who may believe in God’s sovereignty in all areas but death. Many carry guilt thinking that somehow they could have done something to prevent a loved one’s death or the doctors could have tried harder. Others remain angry at the disease or the person who cut their loved one’s life short. The truth is this…God, and God alone, numbers our days. 

I do not wish to diminish the pain of human suffering. I do not think there are many other events that hurt more than losing someone you love. However, personally I have resolved to believe that God is not a big meanie who takes from us. Death and loss are a huge part of the fallen world we inhabit and will be until Jesus returns. Standing in the fundamental truth that “He Is In Control” has been the foundation of my healing from this great loss. It has allowed me to open my hands and release in surrender my every care because I know He’s got it! 

This event was used by the Almighty to cement my faith and still my “what if’s” as I know that even when life is out of control and I can find nothing in this human world to comfort, the God who knows all and is all, will meet my every need. He is there, has been there, and always will be! I stand in the firm belief of Romans 8:28 that He will use the worst of my circumstances for my good. I have now lived past this tragedy long enough to know and see this truth working out in my life and that of my family. 

If you are struggling with loss, I challenge you to take a step closer to our Creator and embrace who He is. He wants to meet you in your sorrow and bring you to a place of peace that only He can. Let Him show you how surrendering to His control will bring you out of misery when you learn to abide in Him.

There is no need to walk this path alone. We are here to help. Give us a call so we can walk through the valley with you. 


Lori Heagney, LCMHC
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